Are you on the fence about dating?

Updated: Oct 22


Are you on the fence about dating?

Maybe you’ve dipped your toes in the dating world by creating a dating profile, but you really haven’t been active in it?


Or maybe you haven’t started yet because you’re not sure it’s even worth the time or effort…. maybe you believe it doesn’t work?


I’d like to share the experiences of women who felt exactly like you do when they recently entered the dating world.


Let me stop first to tell you that

this is an outstanding time to be looking for the right person.


I just can’t stress enough how ideal this moment is for finally finding true love.


Why, you ask?


Because thanks to the pandemic, a huge number of people, who are like you, have become motivated to prioritize having love in their life.


So, there are more people than ever before looking for a true and lasting love.


Take my client “Melissa’s” (her name is changed to protect her privacy) experience as an example.


Before we started working together, she told me she was NOT going to use online dating. She had concerns about her safety with online dating apps and she intensely disliked it because of the bad experiences she’d had. I listened to her concerns and we agreed to take that option off the table for the time being.


We began our work together by clarifying the essential qualities she wants and needs to be looking for in a partner.


We worked on boosting her confidence and tweaking her mindset so that the fears she had about making the wrong choices again in love and her doubt that she could ever even find a great love would not be roadblocks and sabotage her efforts.


As part of her plan to meet men, she began getting out more to meet new people “organically” through her “off-line” search (through her friends, going out to dinner and parties, etc.).


After a few weeks, she realized that at the rate things were going, it was going to take “forever” for her to meet enough people this way.


She said she was ready to have her beloved in her life NOW, not 2 years from now. Reluctantly, she let me know that she was willing to give online dating another try.


Our next step was to write an online dating profile that truly reflected the essence of her. Then we selected the right photos to draw men to her profile.


Within 3 days of going live with her dating profile, she was texting 8 interesting professional men. She quickly began meeting them in person. I could see she was getting excited about these possibilities. Suddenly, she was actively dating, feeling comfortable with these men and feeling pursued by them.


After going on several dates with 4 of these men, inn just a few weeks, she realized one of them was someone really special that she wanted to continue dating and get to know.


Here’s what I want you to know about this!


Melissa is not the only person I’m working with who has had this experience in recent months.


The same thing is happening with my other clients as well. As soon as they put their profiles online, they are meeting several people at once with whom they have gone on dates. Unlike in the past, they’re meeting high quality men who are truly good potential matches for them!


Why is this happening? It’s because there’s not only a much larger number of people looking for love now but also there is greater variety in the types of people out there, so the potential to run into the type of person you’re looking for is much, much higher than it used to be.


Many of the people who are online (and offline) now are very much like you. They’re interested in a fulfilling long-term relationship and deep connection. They don’t want to serial date, or something casual or hook-ups.


Granted, there will always be people online who are looking for those things, but what’s different now is the quality of the people who are looking AND what is motivating them now.


These quality men and women are looking for something real and aren’t interested in casual flings.


This is the most important thing I will say here.


Wonderful people are actively looking for you now.


My question to you is, are you going to sit on the sidelines (on the fence) or will you jump in?


Ask yourself what is holding you back from putting yourself out there now?

  • Is it a fear of rejection?

  • thinking that in some way you aren’t enough for the type of person you really want

  • Is it that you believe finding or having true love isn’t possible for you?

  • Or are you feeling too discouraged, frustrated, exhausted, sad, unmotivated (you can fill in the blank here) to enter the dating pool?

Whatever you’re feeling, your feelings are all valid.


For many singles, there’s an enormous pressure to find someone and to find them fast; to make something happen quickly.


Their search for love is being viewed like a band-aid that needs to be pulled off quickly to avoid further pain.


What if you allowed yourself to let go of some of that pressure and simply take one step forward to meet other nice people just like you who are also looking to connect with another human being?


You know how little kids don’t have any expectations? They’re excited about everything they’re doing. They delight at all the surprises in store for them. Every moment is a fun time. They’re excited to meet new people to play, explore and giggle together. They find pleasure in the simplest things.


What if you brought this playfulness, curiosity and expectation of having fun into your dating life?


And here’s the important question to ask yourself that will help you move off the fence.


What do you most want to feel with a wonderful loving person in your life?

What is it you yearn to feel? Is it feeling more enjoyment and pleasure or excitement about life? Or more warmth and closeness with someone? The feeling and knowing that someone is there for you? Feeling cared for. Feeling special to someone.


That is the question I asked “Julie” this week. When she answered it for herself, she was able to get excited about dating and meeting new people. Why? Because she became more focused on what felt good about meeting new men and a future relationship, instead of all the things that she felt were unpleasant about it.


For every objection she had, we found a way to reframe the story she was telling herself so that she could see how the right men were going to enjoy meeting a woman like her. She realized that her fears about not being funny enough, outgoing enough or slim enough aren’t going to matter to the right men because those men are interested in the qualities she already has: her sharp mind, her ability to have fun doing anything, her grounded personality, her sincerity and kindness as a companion.


Could you use a dating mindset or confidence boost? Or a dating plan to help you meet great people?


I want to help you get off the fence and find love, so this is what I’m offering.


It’s a 1 month pre-holiday mindset boost special. If you want to find out more about it, contact me at maria@maria-spears.com and we’ll discuss how we can help you get off the fence and meeting wonderful new people for the happy love life you deeply want.


It simply takes a slight mindset shift and having someone by your side who believes in your happy future and is supporting you as you take the next step.


So let’s do this together!!!


With a universe of love and support for you and all your heart's desires,


Maria

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