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If you don't have a special Valentine, then do this...

Updated: Feb 21

image of a table with a wrapped gift box, a coffee cup, a plate with two cookies and two choclates. The table also has red felt hearts strewn across.

What can you do if you don’t have a date or someone special on Valentine’s Day?

I know you’re a great catch! So why no Valentine’s sweetheart?

Well. I can think of a number of reasons for that.

  • Getting together with others outside your Covid bubble may not be possible where you live

  • The person you want to get to know is unavailable, for whatever reason

  • You don’t know anyone to go out with

  • You’re getting over the loss of a relationship

  • You’re exhausted and don’t have time for this

  • You’re not doing anything until you drop the Covid weight

  • Valentine’s Day is not your jam anyway

  • Or whatever other reasons and all the reasons you may have

The women and men I work with are people who are always thinking about others first in their lives. But who is looking out for them?

They don’t have their partner in life, the person who has their back, their favorite person in the world, who knows them deeply and loves every part of them and who shares all the joys and responsibilities of life with them.

Which can make a day like Valentine’s Day feel deeply painful and sad, filled with longing, frustration, anger, isolation, regrets and disappointment. It’s a day they just want to avoid, hide on the couch with a dessert, cry their eyes out or just ignore.

Well, what if Valentine’s Day can instead be faced with spending time with loved ones, whether friends, parents, family, neighbors, children. A day for extra hugs and for expressing the love inside you and opening your heart to receive love from others.

This receiving part is especially difficult for those who are always caring for others. All the more reason to consciously allow more love in now.

Here’s the thing. Wherever you are is where you are right now.

Your future with that adoring devoted partner is just that. It’s in your future. It seems too far off. You can take steps now and make choices to create that future, but you’re not living there yet.

Or you may be reminiscing about past loves. Perhaps the ones that got away or ones who wasted your time or who broke your heart.

Or, the ones you didn’t meet because you’ve been so busy caring for others in your life, mastering your profession and getting through daily life that you put your need to be loved and have a mutually supportive loving partnership with the love of your life at the bottom of your priority list.

This is also living in another time. The past. You can’t go back there again.

Then what’s left is the moment of NOW. It’s the only place you can be right now.

So what can you do if Valentine’s Day does mean something to you and you’re pretty sure you won’t be on a date this weekend?

These are some thoughts to consider

  1. Think of someone you love with whom you can spend heartfelt time together

  2. Invite them or a new friend to join you for a Zoom dinner or activity

  3. Host a Zoom or video meeting with other singles

  4. Read a poem out loud to someone you care about or sing a song to them

  5. Exchange cards or a call with a few loved ones in which you tell them why they make your world better, what they bring to your relationship that is essential to your life, what you love about them

  6. Do those self-care rituals you would do if you were going out with a date

  7. Now this next one may bring up some tears for you. Whether you are in a relationship with another person or not, your primary relationship is with yourself. Right?

With all the love in the universe, I urge you to take 1-3 minutes to do this now and

every day, not just on Valentine’s Day.

  • Stand in front of a mirror, wrap your arms around yourself.

  • While caressing your own arms, look into your eyes and say to yourself

[Your Name], I LOVE you! I really really love you! You are precious! Thank you for

being you”

For example, I would say to myself: Maria, I LOVE you. I really really love you!

You are precious to me! Thank you for being you!!!

  • At first you may not believe those words. But keep at it and notice what comes up. If you want to go further with this practice, this exercise is from Louise Hays’ Mirror Work.

If you don’t want to wait any more to do something bold about changing your love life and you want new love to blossom for you this spring

then I invite you to schedule a Soulmate Search Breakthrough call with me so we can identify the best next steps for you and how we work together to transform your love journey and your future.

If you really want a life partner, just know…

that person is out there looking for you ….

and what you need to do is decide to take the first step toward them.

With a universe of love and support for your heart’s desires,


Visit my website to learn how I help women level up their relationships and find their soulmates.


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