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What It Will Cost You If You DIY Finding Love

Updated: Feb 21


a woman looking at a maze on the wall. She is trying to determine how to work through it.

If you’re like me, you probably do online searches for how to do just about everything.

I use YouTube to DIY all sorts of repair and remodeling projects for my home.


Have you ever done an online search for “how to find love” or ‘how to meet great men or women”?


The internet is full of advice about love, dating and relationships.


A lot of it is incorrect and more than anything, it’s overwhelming.


And you may have some dating experience and try to do as much as you can on your own.


Except, this is not cheap and despite our best intentions, we don’t tend to stick to doing what we need to do long enough to see the results we want.


Because finding love can be confusing and demoralizing, it’s easy to put this part of our lives on the back burner and say “it’ll happen when it happens”.


Just about everything else in your life is probably easier than putting yourself out there to find love, which is, I’m not going to sugar coat this,


a frustrating, exhausting, anxiety producing and scary process.


BUT


When you’re spending weeks, months and years DIYing finding a partner, you end up paying the cost in the time that is lost, trying different approaches and finally ending up feeling burned out and 10 times more defeated with the whole process.


And you wonder if it’s ever going to happen for you.


Your predominant thoughts become more about the love you want not being possible for you.


And before you know it, this discouragement and sadness starts showing up in your body language and facial expressions and other single people are not noticing you or don’t find you approachable.


They pick up on your lower confidence and aren’t attracted to you in the way they would if you felt better about yourself.


I’m here to tell you that there is a better way to meet the kinds of men/women you would want a relationship with, without all the wasted time on “situationships” that go nowhere, getting ghosted or simply not finding compatible singles to meet.


For some things in life, we all need to consult experts.


My friend, finding the right partner is one of those things.


Now I get it, you probably never thought you’d consider getting support from a dating and love coach.


So, ask yourself, what is so different about getting support from a fitness trainer or an attorney or any other professional you would hire to help you with something that is very important to you, your happiness and your future, that you want to make sure is done right and eliminate all the guess work, trial and error and disappointment


without the huge hit to your confidence in the dating world and ultimately not achieving the dreams you have for your life.


Here’s what I can tell you about DIYing finding the love of your life


  • Most of the free advice on the internet is only a small fraction of what you need to know to find the right person to create an amazing relationship and it’s likely not tailored to who you are as a person.

  • Most people around you, family, married friends and colleagues, don’t have the knowledge or experience about how to date to find love in today’s dating world.

  • It’s hard to be objective about one’s own life. Doing it alone doesn’t give you the 360-degree perspective you need to help you identify your blind spots, the unconscious repeating patterns that are sabotaging your search and relationships, despite your best efforts to change, nor does it help you change them.

  • DIYing does not take into account the lifetime of relationship experiences you’ve had, unique to you, and which limit the number of eligible singles you can meet and how successfully you date and develop emotionally intimate relationships.

  • Putting off working with a dating & love coach costs you opportunities to meet the right person now, makes your search unnecessarily prolonged and painful and it doesn’t end up leading you to the right person. More than likely you meet someone who is the wrong person or a repeat of past relationships and ultimately, you risk ending up divorced and brokenhearted. Anyone who has been divorced or had a relationship end badly, knows how costly divorce and breakups are emotionally, mentally, physically and financially.

  • You go for and settle for far less than you’re capable of finding because you’re not finding enough good options to choose from and because you succumb to the scarcity mindset that happens to everyone who’s looking for their person. You may settle for the person you happen to find, like I did, and spend years trying to make it work with them even though your gut tells you this is the wrong person.

  • The biggest cost is to your future self who will not experience the fulfilling life, the partnership, support, love, sharing, peace of mind, affection, intimacy, fun, adventure, a family and everything you can have with the right partner.

  • Finally, it’s not possible to find a solution from where you are now because it’s not possible to know what you don’t yet know.

Here’s what you would experience with me as your co-pilot and guide:

  • An accelerated course on how to date to successfully meet people who are most compatible with you

  • Personalized feedback on your specific patterns and blind spots so you can break out of them and guidance on upgrading your dating and relationship skills

  • Mindset coaching to overcome any challenges you come up against (yes, all kinds of buried fears and emotions come up when you're dating and entering new relationships!)

  • Help managing dating anxiety and fears, to change sabotaging beliefs and behaviors, so you can be present and authentic in your love life

  • Access to me between sessions to prevent a bad date or a string of bad dates from becoming a downward spiral or old habits from taking root again

  • Advice and strategies to build your confidence and treat yourself like the love of your life

  • A dating plan that helps you find great men/women both organically and online

  • A review and upgrade to your online dating profile and photos to present you in a way that makes you stand out and be recognized by people who are looking for what you offer

  • Someone who is there to support you and give you honest and compassionate feedback, cheerleading and encouragement every step of the way

  • Someone who holds your vision of the love and life you want front and center to help you stay on track and continue to move toward that vision

  • Help to identify and shift beliefs that hold you back so you feel empowered while you're navigating the dating scene and entering a relationship

  • A sounding board so you're better able to identify the right people for you, more easily let go of the ones who aren't right, and avoid self-sabotaging behaviors so your relationship moves forward

In their own words, my clients have shared these comments with me


You offer emotional support, serve as a sounding board and confidant in ways that family and friends can’t


You helped me get out of my own way


You helped me stop repeating the same patterns in my relationships


I entered the best relationships of my life


I learned to go beneath the surface with men and stopped trying to make things work. I was able to manifest this healthy, mature man for the true and equal partnership I wanted. Now I feel joy and completeness


I feel so good about myself, I can’t remember feeling any other way

In the very 1st process we did together I was able to identify the same old relationship patterns I was reliving that I needed to unlearn


I recognize my value and no longer have a tolerance for bad behavior, making excuses for people or going after people who are unavailable. What I learned is I can have everything I want and I don’t have settle


Working with a coach doesn’t mean you don’t know how to date or that you’re bad at it.

On the contrary, one of the qualities my clients have in common is they are highly intelligent, great communicators and very personable with others.


It’s like having a personal trainer for your fitness goals. You get a better workout, reach your goals more efficiently, safely and get faster results with a trainer. The same thing applies with having a dating coach.


If you haven’t considered this kind of support for yourself, then I invite you to meet with me for a complimentary 30-minute Soulmate Search Breakthrough session where we can discuss your dreams, your biggest challenges and what it will take to achieve the relationship you want. We’ll talk about how I can support you on your journey to lifelong love.


All you have to do is schedule that meeting and I will meet you with a world of compassion and acceptance.



Time is moving forward.


Your future self will thank you for taking intentional action now and not putting off your heart’s deepest desire having a loving partner by your side to enjoy the life you’ve always dreamed of.


Visit my website to learn how I help women level up their relationships and find their soulmates.


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