How do you feel about dating now?
Are you feeling a little uneasy about getting out there?
Are you feeling socially rusty after not being around people or dating for over a year?
Are the extra 10, 15, 20, 25, 30+ pounds of Covid weight making you feel less confident and struggling to find anything in your closet to wear, IF you had to go out on a date? Is this keeping you from putting yourself out there to meet people?
Or is it difficult to figure out how to meet eligible singles?
Are you wondering which dating apps to use?
And what about this Delta variant? Are you nervous there could be another lockdown at any time and not sure how to protect yourself in the dating world?
If you’re feeling this way after over 16 months of pandemic restrictions, you’re not alone!
While many people have gone back to some version of their “normal” lives, most haven't gone back to “normal” lives and they’re expecting the other shoe could drop at any time.
I speak with many singles who are feeling a general level of anxiety about dating now.
They’re uncomfortable about getting out there to date either because they didn’t date much during Covid or it’s been a long time since the last time they dated.
Wherever you’re at in your love journey, these are some suggestions to help you ease into the dating world:
1. Make it easy and fun!
Begin by telling yourself that you’re getting out there to enjoy life, have fun and do the summer activities you love.
Don’t overthink the details. Ask yourself, “how can I make this easy and fun?”
Identify 1 or 2 friends to go out with and explore new places, events and activities. This will get you out there to have fun, do the things you enjoy apart from the dating world, (although you could very well meet interesting people for romance this way!).
An empowering way to approach the dating world is to tell yourself that you get to do things with new companions, interesting new people. Some of them will be romantic dates and others could turn into new friendships.
When you’re out and about in our daily life, doing errands, shopping, stopping at Starbucks, remember to wear your smile! During these times you meet new romantic interests. But at a minimum, smiling will help you and everyone you encounter feel good.
2. Draw on your communication skills:
Be clear, genuine and up front, especially in the phone calls or texts BEFORE you meet someone in person.
Listen. Just practice listening to the other person with an attitude of curiosity and interest. While you can ask certain basic questions in your first texts, calls and in person meetings, avoid trying to go down your checklist of questions so you can figure out if they meet your criteria for the partner you want. A series of questions will likely make the other person feel as if they’re being interrogated or interviewed and that you’re not really interested to learn about them as a person.
Instead, focus your questions on topics that really matter to the other person (their kids, family, hobbies, what makes them happy, their mission in life, etc.).
2. Kindness and compassion are needed now more than ever.
Remember that the people you meet have also gone through a lot during this historic pandemic.
Men in particular get rejected a lot more than women do in the dating world. They’re just as nervous about initiating contact, or timing the first kiss, where to take a date and wanting to make a good impression.
3. Be present in your body:
Make sure you’re breathing, stay in the moment, resist the temptation to project into the future about where things are going to go with this person. Just take it one moment at a time.
When you're doing what is fun and pleasurable for you, your vibrant inner self can shine and this allows your soulmate to find you!